Yesterday Peter Chin, the new Energy, Green Technology and Water Minister “stressed that a nuclear plant was sorely needed to meet the country’s accelerating energy needs and ensured its energy security, an issue that is high on the agenda of most Asian nations now living with high oil prices.” He also mentioned that “the government would be ready to explain to the people the need for one to counter possible political and environmental fallout or uproar.”

I am pro-nuclear energy. But I want to know what does the government plan to do with the waste.

The explanation from the government better start soon – otherwise doubts on competencies will surface.

13 is also such a mind boggling number – to many, it is an unlucky number, so much so that the word Triskaidekaphobia was coined.

But in Punjabi, 13 is tera which also means “yours” (as in “I’m Yours, Oh Lord”) which is a good thing. Coincidentally, the Sikh New Year (Vaisakhi) usually occurs on April 13 (and the rest of the times on April 14th).

It seems that the planets are aligned in a peculiar way today, the cosmos throwing itself a number for the new year that needs to be interpreted like an African fortune teller throwing bones.

I’m not much of a fortune teller. But this year Life did take its normal dose of rites of passage with work, money, friends, family and love. And today, you would reminisce on the things you did, the things you said, the things you did not do and the things not said. And Life will continue its normal course of new rites of passage come the new year. You can only hope that you will do more right things and say more right things.

Ultimately, one may come to realise that the new year is not really about new beginnings and new set of resolutions to break.

Its about being a better you.

So, whether your new year is on Muharram 1, January 1 or April 13, here’s to all of us taking charge of our destiny: pick up those bones that was thrown by Life and let us arrange it as how we like it for the future we want.

13 is not such a bad number after all.

Muharram Mubarrak.

Kenneth Tan, 29, writer

“I would say that if a man approaches a girl, he usually has an idea of whether she’s a sports fish or a keeper.

“It usually has a lot to do with the location. If it’s at a club, then it’s more a one-nighter, but if she’s some chick at a private dinner party, then maybe it’s more of a bed and breakfast (long term — hence ‘breakfast’).

“But if a guy is making the effort to talk a girl up despite her not really dressing up to the nines, then it must be because he’s interested in her for the longer term.

“As for the 90-day rule, it isn’t the best barometer to see if the guy’s intentions are genuine because guys will keep trying till they get it. So it doesn’t matter if it’s 90 days or 30 days — if she’s a sports fish, we’ll throw her back after that.

“But there’s a certain amount of truth in what Steve Harvey says, because guys are dogs too and there’s bound to be some of them who will start using you if you give in too easily.”

Sharizal Shaarani, 33, entrepreneur

“I don’t always have a plan with a girl I’m interested in, and that’s when I’ll just go with the flow. But most of the time, I do know instantly, if she’s a keeper once she tells me her life’s ambitions, interests, etc.

“Of course, I’ll also look out for warning signals, if she says she dislikes this person or that. How she treats others will show how the woman will treat you.

“I don’t agree with Harvey when he says all we think about is sex. Though it’s not the end all to a healthy relationship, it will definitely help. But if the woman is worth the wait, I’d wait! If I wasn’t interested in establishing a relationship with her in the first place, I’d stop calling.”

Azlan Yusuf, 40, musician

“You know you’re a sports fish when I don’t call you back for a fourth date. These girls are usually non-committal types who let you know right off the bat that they’re out for some fun and are not looking for a boyfriend.

“But we can smell desperation from miles away, and it’s very off-putting. These girls are too keen. They’re also the ones carrying all the emotional baggage from past relationships, and they won’t hesitate in letting you know.

“I don’t really agree with Harvey on there being only two categories of girls. There’s a third, and it’s my missus. She’s a bit of both characteristics — she knows how to have fun and yet she wields her power like a Samurai sword.

“She also tries to please you, for instance, by accompanying you to a movie she hates. I think the 90-day rule is nonsense. However, I don’t like playing games. Younger guys might, but not older men. My wife and I fell for each other within the first week, and we’ve been happily married for over a decade now.”

Kelvin Jacob, 31, head chef

“I meet sports fishes all the time in my line of work. They’re usually party girls who’re very open, very extroverted and love to flaunt their physique, their popularity, whatever. They are cool to be with, but the relationship doesn’t usually go beyond the superficial. Keepers, in my point of view, are more conservative. I don’t expect her to be a 100% angel because I’m not exactly angelic myself either.

“At the end of the day I’m looking for someone with mother and wife qualities for a long-term affair, and it usually takes more than a few conversations to find out if she fits the bill. And Harvey’s right; it’s sex that drives us. Even if we’re willing to wait 90 days to sleep with you, it doesn’t mean that we aren’t sports fishing. It could mean that we just want another notch to add to our bedpost.”

Women, fish?
By LOUISA LIM

American comedian Steve Harvey decides to get serious with a self-help book. But is his advice really worth its weight in gold or is it just a laughing matter?

SO what does the King of Stand-Up Comedy Steve Harvey know about relationships?

Enough, evidently, to hit the raw nerve of over a million sane women, who clambered to get a copy of his new book, Act Like A Lady, Think like A Man. Also enough to earn the highly coveted spot as Oprah’s sidekick for one episode and dispense dating advice to the jaded and the confused like a love guru on steroids.

It seems Harvey knows a great deal. But does he really?

“The problem for all too many women who call into my radio show,” he writes, “is that they just can’t get men to reciprocate their love in the same way they gave it. These are women who can run a small business, keep a household with three kids in tiptop shape and chair a church group all at the same time. Yet when it comes to relationships, they can’t figure what makes men tick.”

Let’s take Tan Pei Pei, 35, for instance. Tan, a relationship manager by profession, manages her relationships wonderfully — as long as they aren’t romantic ones.

“I’ve dated about 10 guys so far, but each relationship has crashed and burned along with my self-confidence,” she says. “It’s not that it’s difficult to find a man in Malaysia; I’ve got admirers lined up all the way to Penang. It’s holding a relationship down that is tricky.

“Most of my affairs fizzle out within the second year because they start losing interest. Some were sincerely apologetic about it, but a few cheat! I don’t know what the problem is. Is it me? Or is it all 10 of them?”

Then, there’s Indira Raj, 40, an entrepreneur who became so exasperated from asking these very same questions that she recently consulted an astrologer.

“He says that my Venus is near the sun,” she reveals. “Whatever that means, it’s a sentence that lingered at the back of my thoughts each time I jumped from one bad relationship to another. Now I’ve just about given up altogether on love. I’m happier investing the same energy in myself because no man’s ever worth the trouble.”

But according to Harvey, relationships aren’t that complicated. The trick, he says, is to adopt a male perspective on things, and he has, in all generosity, volunteered to give you an insight into his.

Here fishy, fishy

The late author (and tireless advocate of the power of love) Leo Buscaglia once said, “Never idealise others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.”

Faizah Hamdan, 28, a buyer at a hypermarket, agrees with Buscaglia.

“Why set expectations when you’ll only be disappointed? That’s my relationship philosophy. I just like to go with the flow,” she says.

Harvey, though, advises women against such an outlook. He has a name for women like Faizah — the Sports Fish.

It goes like this: Man likes woman. Man pursues woman. Man gets woman. But since we all know that Happily Ever After only applies to fairy tales, what happens next?

“How we meet, how the conversation goes, how the relationship develops and the demands you make on a man will all determine whether you’ll be treated like a sports fish — a throw-back — or a keeper, the kind of woman a man can envision settling down with,” Harvey says.

“A sports fish doesn’t have any rules, requirements, respect for herself, guidelines, and we men can pick up her scent a mile away. She has no plans for any ongoing relationships, is not expecting anything in particular from a man, and sets absolutely nary a condition or restriction on anyone standing before her — she makes it very clear that she’s just along for whatever is going to happen.”

Nevertheless, ask most spurned women, and they will deny that they ever were a Sports Fish.

“No, I think I’m a pretty good catch!” laughs Faizah, who has been in a grand total of 13 unsuccessful relationships — three serious, 10 casual — so far.

But as Harvey says, “If he lobbies for an open relationship and says he’s cool with you seeing other people, he’s sport fishing. Men will stand in line to sign up for that, believe me.”

After digesting Harvey’s words over a cup of coffee, Tan admits she is a Sports Fish.

“Am I the woman who drops it like it’s hot on the dance floor? Do I shudder at the prospect of meeting the parents? Do I tell him not to worry because I take a laid-back approach to relationships?” she says. “Yes, yes and yes. But only because I didn’t realise that it could lower my market value.”

Consultant Charlotte Lang, 33, also thinks setting some standards in the beginning could strengthen, instead of destroy, a relationship.

“Relationship books tell you to give a guy space. I did exactly that, but guys tend to take things for granted. One of my boyfriends betrayed my trust by sleeping with another woman because I gave him ‘too much’ space.”

But don’t worry, there’s hope yet because, according to Harvey, “where you stand in our eyes is dictated by your control over the situation.”

Me? A cookie cutter?

If you expect Harvey to be like the very judicious John Gray of Men Are From Mars, Woman Are From Venus, forget it.

Advice from Harvey is always served bitter and raw, not sugar-coated. It’s not uncommon to hear him pointing out to the callers to his show, “Get it through your head, you are the Friday girl. That is just for sex. That’s what you are. He’s not going to graduate you to his wife. We don’t upgrade sex girls, we don’t do that.”

This is another one of Harvey’s mantras, which he never fails to advocate: the 90-day rule. That is, never “give up the cookie” before the 90-day trial period is over.

Why?

“He doesn’t know you, he hasn’t proven himself. And he could walk off the job any time. And you’ll have no one else to blame,” Harvey says.

We all know what the guys think (“No, it’s too long a wait,” says one man spotted on television), and for today’s women, Harvey’s mantra, too, may seem like an archaic concept.

“The timeline is subjective. If both feel it’s right, then it’s better to just let it happen,” Lang says. “I think, regardless of whether we sleep with a guy early or later, if he wants to be with us, he will.”

However, 30-year-old Stephy Wong, otherwise known as the “ woman who has everything including Mr Right” among her peers, believes that 90 days is the way to go. Having been in a rock solid relationship for almost four years now, she’s the perfect archetype of a Keeper.

None of her peers know how Wong does it, but she has the answer.

“I’m no prude,” she says. “Neither am I anything like Charlotte from Sex and The City. But 90 days can shed much light on whether you’re dating a man or a boy. I told my current boyfriend that it takes a whole lot more than a few nights out in a swanky restaurant to prove himself worthy. But of course, you’d have to dangle the cookie in front of him, reward him in little ways like a kiss or a flirty e-mail. It’s the thrill of the chase.

“But of course, now that we’re together, he doesn’t have to try so hard. We might start a family someday, but not now because having a rock on my finger isn’t a top priority. What’s important is that we enjoy each other’s company. He recently bought us a house so we could move in together.”

Make no mistake: Wong has dated a number of jerks in the past (“Bad boys? Overrated,” she quips). It’s just that over the years, she’s become more savvy at the game.

Even if his advice is far from revolutionary, Harvey has a point. The consequences of diving into a serious relationship too quickly can be dire. Raj learnt it the hard way when she discovered her boyfriend of a few months was a compulsive liar.

“He was the charming colleague who went all out to woo me,” she recalls. “He really impressed me with his talk about owning several properties and businesses, so we started seeing each other exclusively within weeks. Soon enough, I realised he owned jack. Even the jet ski he claimed to own belonged to a hotel. When I tried to end our relationship, he started to stalk me.”

Nonetheless, many of Harvey’s critics remain unconvinced.

One woman wrote: “Good lord, nothing screams gullible like a bunch of women taking love and relationship advice from a man who’s been married three times.

“But let’s look at it positively. Let’s say that these women think that Steve Harvey is just so incredibly wise that he can, actually, condense all the complexity of relationship dynamics into a 243-page paperback. They’d be wrong, of course. If that were true, we’d have far fewer females taking a trip to the government office building to fill out child support papers and State Aid.”

This hasn’t stopped Screen Gems from acquiring the rights to turn Harvey’s book into a major motion picture, however. It would seem Harvey, who now wears the executive producer hat in Hollywood, will have the last laugh . . . all the way to the bank.

Steve Harvey’s Act Like A Lady, Think like A Man is available at MPH bookstores at RM69.90.

romanticism
love
comfort
pleasure
happiness
dreams come true

once upon a time
a girl was abruptly thrown into unfamiliar surroundings
she was young
pre-teen
she was overwhelmed by her new environment
everyone spoke a different language
one she did not understand yet
but soon she realized
that it was one of the biggest events in her life
she met people whom little did she know was going to be lifetime friends
the only ones she could trust even after she reaches far into adulthood
they fought like brothers and sisters
they bonded like brothers and sisters
the partied like there was no tomorrow
they learned about each other
soon everyone had their own nicknames
and reputations
everyone accepted everyone for who they are
inter-dating was bound to happen
in a class of only 100
there was no discrimination
doesn’t matter what color they are
where they’re from
geeks, jocks, prefects, those are just terms
it wasn’t applicable to us
she was undergoing the best years of her life
even though at that time she thought that being a teenager is terrible
she watched her friends
she started noticing guys
she started dating guys
she went through ups and downs with her peers
smoking in bathrooms
going to arcades
camps
she thought she had fallen in love numerous times.
little did she know that at 30 she wouldn’t still know the meaning of love
but time passed by too quickly
before they knew it, they had to say goodbye
they went different directions
but a lot of things were left unsaid
secret loves
secret crushes
secret desires
she doesn’t think she’s his type
he doesn’t think he’s her type
they dream in silence
they pushed each other away by encouraging other loves
they suffered in silence as they watched their relationship flourish
Did I do the right thing? Yes. He would be happy with her
Did I do the right thing? Yes. She wants me to be with her
it’s the best scenario, they both thought.
Saying goodbye was painful
But they were used to the pain
not the kind of pain that breaks the heart
the kind of pain that leaves one pining
the goodbyes were informal
hugs to everyone
kisses to everyone
nothing special
Yet she remembers everything about him
While he refrained from what he thought was his last chance of expressing his feelings
Years went by
they went their separate ways
they followed different paths
contacts were always casual
until one day
by chance
they found each other talking
fate brought them together
they just didn’t know it yet
she called asking about a mutual friend
he responded kindly
they started to keep in touch
Until one day
on one bitter sweet day
years of pining were released
she never knew
he never knew
But fate still isn’t ready to bring their love together
they were oceans apart
plans to meet falter
fears of crushed hopes deters
eventually they let go
he’s just not meant to be with me
she’s just not meant for me
slowly the yearning dissipates
the pain of uncertainty continues
but it’s pushed to the back of the mind
but always in a corner of the hearts
life must go on
i have to do what i have to do
we cannot be together
there are too many external factors.
A second more painful goodbye
A sigh of relief and pleasant surprise of professed love turns into a silent acknowledgment of uncertainty
Uncertainty was the enemy
He led his life
She led his life
oceans apart
No one knew
of their secret love
Not the geeks
Not the jocks
Not the prefects
Not one of their 98 friends
It was a secret love affair that never materialized
Life went on
good times
bad times
he met others
she met others
but still
a corner of the heart is reserved for her
a corner of the heart is reserved for him
Years gone by again
what’s the point?
it’s never goign to happen
it’s wishful thinking
they had imagined being in each other’s arms
they had imagined kissing each other’s lips
they had imagined holding each other until they fell asleep
they had even dared to talk about it
But it’s been years
He has his own life
She has her own life
Fate decided to play another game
A mutual friend provided information to her
It led her to think about him again
bringing him to the forefront of her mind
She nervously dialed the digits
Secretly hoping that it’s still the same number
Half afraid of how she would feel
Of how he would react
He was sweet
Within seconds he knew who it was
He never forgot her just like she never forgot him
His voice was soothing
In a time of turmoil, his words calmed her down
They didn’t dare to speak of their secret love
He is with someone else
She doesn’t want hurt him or her
Small talks became hints
Conversation took a different turn
He read the hidden meanings behind her words
She read the hidden meanings behind his words
We can’t do this again
Not again
Wrong time again
Wrong place again
Words spoken too late
Words that have to be chosen carefully now
She watched as he fell asleep
How wonderful would it be to caress his hair
How great would it be to kiss those lips
How comforting would it be to lie in his arms
How amazing would it be to gaze into his eyes
How soothing would it be to hear his voice, whispering in my ears
If only we could fall asleep together
Stop.
Wishful thinking
No.
She patiently waited for him to sleep.
Afraid to let go
Afraid she won’t see him again
Mixed emotions
fear
sadness
happiness
hopefulness
despair
lost
excitement
they don’t want it to end
and yet it must come to an end
don’t call him
don’t contact her
Fate is still not ready
It seems that fate is toying them
toying with their feelings and emotions
She kissed him from far away
And sadly and silently said goodbye
He dreamt of her that night
Mixed with nightmares of uncertainty
Their quest for love continues
Failed relationships discourage them
Lack of confidence puts doubt in their minds
Again. the secret love remains a secret
a secret love that seems to be turning to a forbidden love
He was starting a new phase in life
She was starting a new phase in life
Who knows when they will meet
Trust Fate again? After all the games Fate played?
Years went by
He started on his new venture
She started on her new venture
In her mind, he thought of him and her
She sincerely wished for his happiness
But she secretly carries a small scar in her heart
What is he doing? Where is he? Who is he with?
What is she doing? Where is she? Who is she with?
One fateful day
She was assigned to a post in Holland
One fateful day
He finally took the vacation to Europe
She thought about him while she started her post
He thought of her on the way to Amsterdam
He did say he wanted to travel the world
She did say she had worked in Netherlands
She never signed on to instant messenger anymore
He hardly bothered to sign on either
But that summer
That summer solstice
she thought how wonderful it would be if he was here
He thought how wonderful it would be if she was here
She picked up the phone.
dialed the number
it was out of service
He wrote her an email.
just to say hello
No reply.
No don’t give up
what have I got to lose?
she turned on her computer
he turned on his computer
Hi.
Hi.
I tried calling you
I tried emailing you
I am overseas
So am I
Where?
Amsterdam.
Her heart palpitates
He gasped in disbelief
Could it be?
Is this the right time?
Is this the right place?
Are you married?
No luck
Are you married?
Not a chance
How’s your girlfriend?
I had to leave the country soon after I last spoke to you
Boyfriend?
I have given up.
So…
So…
What are the chances?
They exchanged phone numbers
When should I call him?
When should I call her?
He dialed her number. It was her voicemail
She dialed his number. It was his voicemail
What do I say? What do I say?
Hang up. Think first.
His phone rang. It must be her
Hello
Are you sleeping?
No. Are you busy?
No.
Well you want to have dinner?
It’s kind of late
What about supper?
What about a drink?
Yes I need a drink – that would loosen me up
Yes I need a drink – I need to calm down
There was a cafe by the canal
She sat there. anxious anticipating nervous
He walked towards the cafe
anxious anticipating nervous
What if we were right?
What if our hopes are crushed?
What if we’re not meant for each other?
Relax, it’s just coffee and drinks
Out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a familiarity
As he looked around, he immediately spotted her.
he still has that same boyish cute look
she still looks the same but an older version
They flashed back to when they were 15
It’s him
It’s her
She got up slowly, her knees trembling
His pace slowed as he walked towards her
He smiled nervously and happily
She smiled nervously and happily
I’ve been waiting for this for almost 20 years
I can’t believe it’s been almost 20 years
She couldn’t contain herself. All she ever wanted to do was hold him.
As she ran towards him, he quickened his pace
They embraced each other.
Their bodies fit together
They are meant to hold each other
She cried happily
He held her tighter
I missed you so much
I’m so happy
She looked into his eyes searching for clues
He looked into her eyes searching for signs
She gazed at him adoringly
He gazed at her lovingly
They looked into each other’s soul
The moment they had been waiting for
The moment they thought would never happen
This time Fate decided the game is over
It was sealed with a sensual passionate hungry kiss
They never had to worry
All the worrying was for nothing
He was everything she ever wanted
She was everything he ever wanted
They finally knew they were in love
not infatuation not obsession
They were in love
Years of pining and secret love unleashed
Just when they thought love doesn’t exist…
Fate brought them together
The moment they had waited for.
Pledging their love
Uttering their vows
that night
all of the restraints were broken
all doubts erased
they made love passionately, satisfying the hunger that had lasted for almost decades
She’s never felt so much in love
He’s never felt so happy
She didn’t want it to end
He didn’t want it to end
A few hours later they laid in each other;s arms, spent
satisfied
gratified
relieved
He does love me
She does love me
His every touch was electrifying
Her kisses were filled with warmth
she ached for him
he longed for her
Their bodies merged
They became one
She trembled in ecstasy
He squeezed her tight in ecstasy
Please don’t ever let me go
Never. We were always meant to be
Finally a good night sleep with my loved one
For the rest of our lives

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Andra & The Backbone – Sempurna Lyrics

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujimu

Disetiap langkahku
Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu

*
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Reff:
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna.. Sempurna..

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

“Bukankah kerana keadilan sosial dan meritokrasi DEB maka begitu ramai orang bukan Melayu mampu ke universiti-universiti ternama di dunia atas pembiayaan sendiri mengatasi bilangan Bumiputera yang dibiayai oleh Kerajaan?”

Hmmm…

My thoughts on the DEB is that it had its use, had its abuse but now it’s time for us to move along now…

Aniffah attacks Anwar in this interview; mentioning Najib and references to Altantunya together.

Political observers have claimed it to be bad diplomacy…

You decide!

oh bulan jangan layan diriku lagi pabila, air mata membasahi pipi dan lagu2 di radio seolah2 memerli aku pabila, kau bersama yg lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta yang masih bersemadi untukmu dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan di sebalik senyuman mu itu kau juga merindui aku

ku enggan berpura pura ku bahagia ku enggan melihat kau bersama si dia oh ku akui cemburu telah menular dalam diri pabila kau bersama yang lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta yang masih bersemadi untukmu dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan di sebalik senyuman mu itu kau juga merindui aku

pabila kau merenung matanya ku rebah, jatuh ke bumi di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi seperti ku bernafas dalam air adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta yang masih bersemadi untukmu dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan di sebalik senyuman mu itu kau juga merindui aku oh